I've been thinking about a ship's log.

Control panel and buttons of a cruise ferry in the cockpit.
Photo by Ibrahim Boran / Unsplash

When I watched Star Trek as a tiny kid, I always loved hearing James T. Kirk narrate his captain's log to his computer. He would share whatever problem the crew needed to solve, or where they were going, or just gossip about the crew a little bit. I remember asking my dad why he did this, and he told me that you needed to keep a record of your journey to know where you'd been.

Last week, a ship's log came up again as I watched Derek DelGaudio perform In And Of Itself. He said that a ship's log was vital because it helped you keep track of where you'd been so you could know where you're going. Sailors would look at the stars and record where they were. When they couldn't see the stars to tell where they were, they'd use their knowledge and experience to make it up.

Eventually, they'd see the stars again and be able to tell how far off course their guesses took them.

I crave certainty. There's no better feeling than knowing I'm right and being able to point to facts to back up what I'm saying.

The last couple of years have pulled the rug of certainty out from under my feet. But there have been things I could see coming, even if it was impossible to prove it.

It's time to start treating this blog more like a ship's log and less like a public diary of my certainty. I hope that someday someone can look back at this and tell where I've been and what led me to where I end up.